Sigh....

I feel the need to update this, as it's been a couple of weeks. I've tried staying raw, and since our pool is open now, I've been swimming vigorously/using resistance training/etc. on top of that. All for...0.00 lbs of weight loss.

We're talking eating around 1200 calories raw, total (roughly), and exercising/weight training at LEAST 2 hours a day...and that's not counting the amount that I sweat out during each infrared sauna session (at least 30 min to an hour). I've been doing this every day, 7 X a week, without fail.

No weight loss.

I've felt a little better, in general, because of the exercise (I love swimming and feeling the cool water around me - and it gives me a natural high to get out of the sauna and go running straight to the pool), but I'm flabbergasted at the lack of weight loss. I was so sure I had lost weight (although my clothes didn't indicate that), just from the pure scientific standpoint, and I withheld weighing myself for a while, because I wanted to see the scale reflect a significant loss (and so I'd feel good about myself). But...nope. Nada. Zilch. Nothing. In fact, I GAINED.

I really don't know what else to try, short of a water fast, which I simply don't have the time to do (chasing 2 small kids all day and working a lot when I'm not with them...not much time for that, especially since you need lots of rest for that sort of thing).

I try to eat lots of veggies, but I eat a lot of fruit, too (probably 50% fruit, and 50% veggies). It dawned on me that I must be so seriously insulin resistant that my body may be trying to convert the fruit sugars into fat (and I'm exercising like crazy, so it's not able to...so I'm just keeping status quo). Not sure about this, since I am definitely NOT a doctor, but I just don't understand it otherwise.

It turns out that overall I've gained a little since last post...so my total weight loss since starting in March is only 8 lbs. Very sickening, considering how hard I've worked to get the weight off, but it's the truth. My guess is that I may have gained 2 lbs of muscle weight or something along those lines, which is a GOOD thing...but it sure is frustrating when I don't see ANY results in my clothes or scale readings. :( Uuuugh. And in doing a lot of research on the internet, it appears I'm the ONLY person on the face of this planet who is having this hard of an issue losing weight while raw and exercising. I would do the juice fast again, but I can't afford to have some violent emotional mood swings like I was having last time. Work is getting more stressful and intense for me lately as it is, and based on my last reactions (that were TERRIBLE and rageful) to the juice fast with relatively LITTLE stress, I'm frightened to think about where that would take me at this point. :s

So...my last resort in trying raw, is that I'm going to switch to primarily eating veggies...with very little fruit. Calorie-wise, this is going to big quite a big cutback. I mean, I can only eat so much salad and celery sticks, so this is going to be rough. I am getting desperate, and even if I lost 1 lb a day, I would not meet my goal by July 14 (not even within 10 lbs), so I'm having to take that off of this site, and let it ride and see where it takes me.

I am soooooo frustrated right now. It would be one thing if I was sitting on my butt drinking margaritas and chowing down on pizza and cake...but I am trying so hard to make huge changes (and eating as healthy as possible), including exercising like a madwoman, and the results are sooooo dismal. :( I know I am pre-diabetic and insulin resistant, and in speaking with a doctor friend of mine, she suggested that I may be closer to having diabetes than the test results conclude...which would make sense as to why I cannot lose weight to save my life (literally). That really, really sucks. My body just wants to hang. on. to. every. last. ounce. of. fat.

One thing I would like to eat is berries...such as blackberries...so I might allow myself some every day. My mom has blackberry bushes on her side of the property that are bearing tons and tons of berries each day...and I found some more wild blackberry bushes growing wild on our private road...HUGE, ripe blackberries...all pesticide free...just growing in all their natural goodness. :) So...I'll probably work with a raw-vegan-vegetable-and-berry diet. Sheesh...that sounds so ridiculous that I have to do that, but it is what it is. The FATkins diet...I mean, Atkins...used to work for me a long time ago (about 10 years ago...got down to 110 lbs), but I think I screwed up my metabolism with that diet, because suddenly it didn't work anymore, and I gained weight like crazy one year (no change to my diet, and I was exercising and *thought* I was being healthy). I used to think Atkins was pretty radical back then, but THIS is even more extreme, I guess.

If a mostly raw veggie diet with 2-3 hours of intense exercise a day doesn't work, then there HAS to be something seriously wrong with me, and I don't think I have another choice but to visit the doctor. I can't live this way anymore. Something has to give SOMEwhere.

What's even more frustrating is that my husband's cousin lost 100 lbs in 100 days simply by cutting his calories and exercising. Now, I know that's an extreme and unusual deal for someone to be able to do that, but he didn't have to do anything radical. In talking to him, he honestly did NOT believe me when I told him all the stuff I was trying to do to lose weight, with little to no success. He and his wife (she lost 20 lbs in 20 days by simple exercising and cutting back on calories, too...she consumes 1500 calories a day and does 1 hour of exercise) flat out told me I must be doing something wrong or lying about it. It really pissed me off. He said, "You just need to find a way of eating and lifestyle that works for you and one that you're happy with." No shit, Sherlock. Been doing that for years, now. They think that doing an all-raw diet with no meat (they kept asking me where I got my protein...ugh, I HATE that question, because it's so STUPID - I get MORE protein that's utilized MORE efficiently through my fruits, raw nuts, and veggies than I EVER did with meat - which btw, always made me feel terrible and sick after I ate it) was totally off the charts in insanity, and then they insisted I must be keeping candy bars in my closet or something to survive. Grrrrr! :( I'm NOT!

Although I wanted to throttle them, I almost don't blame them for being skeptical. If someone else told me the same thing, I don't know if I would have believed them, either. As aforementioned, it totally defies the law of...well, whatever it's called. Physics, or chemistry, or some sort of science. If it takes cutting out or burning 3500 calories to lose a pound, I should be losing SOMETHING every week. I don't, though.

What's even weirder is that I'm drinking lots and lots of water, but I don't urinate as much as I think I should anymore. I'm wondering if some of my body mass is simple water weight that my body somehow thinks it should maintain and hold on to? Even still, I should be burning up SOMETHING. Either way, if the veggie diet doesn't work, then I need to get more tests done. I do NOT want to turn to conventional medicine, but something is really screwed up.

Anyhow, enough venting. Time to make a salad for lunch, so here we go.....